No rich and no poor - we're all members of middle class

Let's stop the hypocrisy and officially declare every American amember of the "middle class."

From now on, there should be only three sociological gradationsin the United States:

Upper middle class.

Middle middle class.

Lower middle class.

Face it: Really rich people don't like to identify themselves asupper class.

Upper class sounds snooty and makes them a target for takeovers- of their fortunes and daughters, if nothing else.

Many of the truly wealthy would prefer to be known as "uppermiddle class" and as plain as an old shoe, even if the old shoe is apriceless antique or custom-made.

Then there are the undeniably poor, including the elderly livingon pensions.

Many of them don't want to be known as belonging to the "lowerclass."

That smacks too much of hopelessness, of lack of manners even,of being stuck on the back burner forever with no hope of making itto the banquet table.

Lots of the poor regard themselves as victims of tough times, ofnew technologies, of closing factories, split marriages, smalltake-homes.

And they believe they can rise above it, given some good breaksthat are long overdue, plus a bigger and steady paycheck.

They don't think of themselves as members of a "permanentunderclass."

They would prefer to be called the "lower middle class" and whynot?

Then there's the rest of the nation.

It's slogging along, mostly employed, struggling to pay billsand keep the kids in school, living in a house or apartment that itmay own or may rent, generally striving but fairly contented.

It thinks of itself as the middle middle class.

It will fight ferociously if you imply it's in the lower middleclass. And it will protest and show you the unpaid bills if youplonk it into the upper middle class.

Some congressmen say families earning up to $70,000 a yearshould be considered middle class, while others think $20,000 to$50,000 is "middle income and upper middle."

According to one encyclopedia, most adults in the middle classhave a college education and an "above-average" living standard.This is almost a contradiction in terms, since you'd think the middleclass would be average in everything, including living standards.

The term "middle class" first was used in Europe in the early1800s. It meant the business class or bourgeoisie that inhabited theeconomic area between the nobles and the peasants. Since America hasno nobles, and everyone loathes being called a peasant, where doesthat leave everyone?

So please do middle the rich, the poor and the in-betweens.

Agree that they are all middle class.

It's just that some are more middle than others.

Bob Herguth, whose column appears in this space each Sunday,is filling in Tuesdays for Art Buchwald, who is taking a few weeksoff.